Should You Let Them Go?

Whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or mere acquaintance, chances are there is someone in your life that probably shouldn't be there anymore. Saying goodbye, even if the person deserves it, is never easy to do. But if you have a dark cloud constantly hovering over your head and blocking out the sunlight that is your happiness, you deserve to kick it to the curb. Choose to be happy. Recognize who may be preventing that happiness and ever-so-gently burn that bridge to the ground. Now, this is a whole lot easier said than done. In fact, it may take some time and effort and a few major meltdowns to get there. But the rainbow after the storm is SO worth it.

If you are anything like me, you may not be entirely sure you should burn any bridges just yet. Maybe you've known this person for years. Maybe they told you they love you and you're just SURE they still do. Maybe they are going through a rough time in their life and you would feel like a bad friend to leave them during this time. Well I have developed a few questions to help you find clarity (hopefully) and make the decision that is best for YOU.

1. How often do you cry? Simple question. Simple answer. Just be honest with yourself. In the past, let's say, month or so: How often have you cried? If you're finding that it's an excessive amount, let's say, more than once a week, that is an issue. I would bet, however, you often find yourself crying over the same thing. Over and over and over again.

2. How often does this person make you cry? So we've established that maybe you're a big cryer, now how many times is this person the cause or a main reason for the tears? Every time? Most of the time? Only sometimes? If you feel like over half the time you've spent crying was due to this person, it's safe to say you need to at least distance yourself from them.

3. Do you avoid this person? If you find yourself dodging calls, ignoring texts, lying about being busy, staying at work or school late, and/or canceling plans with this person constantly... you're already trying to let them go. The fact is, if you WANTED to be around this person you would pick up your phone, reply to their texts, make plans with them, and see it through.

4. Are you waiting for this person to change? Did they promise to change? To never lie again? To do better? Let me guess, they haven't changed. Well this one is tricky, because, PEOPLE CANNOT CHANGE. Never expect someone to change for you. They won't. People do however, mature. Maturing is different than changing. People grow up and eventually realize they made some mistakes and maybe they even hurt someone. But the core of them, the things that make them unique, these things will never change. Do not count on change. That being said, this person may mature and come to realize they weren't kind to you and you may even get an apology from them later in life. BUT, that does not mean you have to keep them in your life while you wait for that. Live your life and be happy without them. If they are meant to come back into your life, they will.

5. Is there a specific person who has come to mind while reading this blogpost? So you've read this far, which means you have probably been thinking about a certain someone. If you have even considered cutting someone out of your life, chances are you should. You know you would be better off without them. Trust your instincts. If your brain is sending you red flags and flares and a big flashing sign saying "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" every time you think of this person, let them go. It's ok. You knew this was coming and they probably did too. It is for the best.

Like I said, if they are meant to come back, they will. But if you are the one to break the chain do not be the one to go seek them out once again. Do not send them that Facebook message that says "I miss you". Don't do it. Let them go. Delete their number. Unfriend, unfollow, unsubscribe. They may have hard feelings, they may be bitter, but do not fall for the guilt trip. For once, be selfish, think of yourself first and say goodbye to the dark cloud. Enjoy the sunshine.

Xx Sarah Michael